What's Cookin'?

Nine years ago I was at the end of my college career and if you asked me if I could cook I would have laughed in your face. Me? Cook. I couldn't even make a grilled cheese without burning the bread. In fact, when I married my college sweetheart a year later I have a very embarrassing memory of my grandmother, the matriarch of my family, giving a tipsy speech about how I didn't know the first thing about cooking or cleaning and that she thought the marriage would fail in six months or less but she loved me very much. Well, she was right. About the cooking or cleaning part. The fact that I just celebrated my eighth wedding anniversary proved she was not in fact- psychic.

Growing up in Southern California- my mother was a single working mom in the entertainment industry. My grandmother was pretty much the only woman I knew who cooked regularly and as she got older she did so less and less. I was about fifteen when I asked for her world family famous pineapple upside down cake recipe. Her response? She kept it in her head. After that, I pretty much stuck to macaroni and cheese.

I think part of the reason she never gave up any of her recipes was that she wanted to be the cook in the family. It was her way of insuring we still needed her. Believe me, I get it now.  My seven year old son swears my panko meatballs are his favorite food on earth and the fact that no one can make them just like his mama makes me feel special. And needed.  But how did I get to making panko meatballs when at 23 I still didn't even know what a spatula was?

Well, I'll tell you. My son was a surprise baby. I mean literally I would not have been more floored by his arrival into our lives had he been born doing the cha cha. After surviving cancer earlier in my life, I wasn't even sure if I could have a baby. At least I didn't think it would be easy. So, when three months after our wedding I found out I was pregnant my mouth dropped open. After that first positive test I bought eight more until I was all peed out. But it was true. And we had a beautiful baby nine months later. What makes it even more incredible is that we haven't been able to have another child since and whenever I tell a specialist that I have a healthy son- they have no idea how he was conceived and carried to full term. Let's just say God really wanted him to be born.

But back to the cooking thing.

We had moved from California to Maryland after my husband got a job offer he couldn't refuse. We were living in a beautiful town near historic Annapolis. But I felt so left out. I was 4000 miles away from everything I had ever known. My mom, my grandparents, my friends- and I had just had a baby and was dealing with some major hormones. So, the fact that I couldn't make grilled cheese was really waring me down.

I remember feeling like a complete failure. I really need a win in my life. And since my fall back strength had always been writing and I could barely get my baby off my hip long enough to take a shower let alone sit down at a laptop I needed another outlet- fast.

That's when I turned on the tv and saw Paula Deen.

I know, I know, I KNOW. Lately, Paula hasn't been very popular. But this is the true story of how I learned to cook. And it all begins with Paula.

Many people loved Julia Child because she made fun of cooking- she infamously called Fanny Farmer's cookbook Aunt Fanny when she copied a recipe from it. I fell instantly in tune with Paula because she talked you through everything. She laughed. She messed up sometimes. And she made things seem easy.

After watching her show- Home Cookin' With Paula on Food Network (and taking notes) I went right out and bought her ingredients for baked spaghetti and made it that night.  And... it was delicious! So good, in fact, that my husband bought me Paula Deen's Southern Bible Cookbook the very next day. About 400 pages of classic southern eats.

So, I decided to try a recipe a day until I cooked my way through her book. About thirty days in, I began to trust myself enough to start trying a few of my own things like grilled chicken or turkey burgers. But I finished what I started and a little over a year later I had cooked my way through that book. And in the midst I had learned how to heat a pan properly, always add non stick oil, knead bread, season everything(!), make even a salad look pretty and how if all else fails- add some bacon.

Yes, Paula Deen likes bacon and butter- but at the point in my life I wanted to start off by serving food that just tasted good. And made me feel good in turn. And Miss Paula was there at the right time and the right place- just when I needed her. And for that- she will always hold a special place in my heart. In fact, I've always said that if I ever get a chance to meet her I will do the ugly cry. Because after eight years of marking her cookbooks I feel like I can pull a Julia Child and call her Aunt Paula.

Nowadays, I don't always use a cookbook or a recipe when I plan meals. In fact, most days I see what's on sale and start from there. But I genuinely enjoy cooking and find that I actually relax best while I beat some bread or slow cook a roast. And I don't always turn to bacon or butter to make my food taste good. But the foundation I learned from watching and reading Aunt Paula (aha!) turned me into a competent home cook. So much so, that my husband looks forward to dinner each and every night.

And the cherry on top of the homemade pie? Hearing my grandmother tell me my food is delicious. And maybe, if I'm lucky, one day she'll tell me the secret to her pineapple upside down cake.

After all, if I learned how to cook... anything is possible.

Happy Cooking (and eating),

The Vintage Snob